A really, really, really bad country song that I refuse to claim ownership of.
You want to know what makes me blue
I don’t know what to say
Do I have to spell it out for you
It happens almost every day
I wake up when you leave my bed
And glance where you’ve been layin
And wonder what besides your head
Has left that lingering stain
Tears ain’t brown
Love ain’t brown
Oreos ain’t brown and neither are Cheetos
So just give it to me straight
It’s lying that I hate
What was your ass end doing on the pillow???
Don’t try to blame the dog
Don’t try to blame the kids
God knows it wasn’t me, so why not just fess up
Can’t believe you did it
Can’t believe you’d lie
That pillow’s for your head and not your butt.
Think you need to leave me now
I’ll live without your touch
I’ll get by all right somehow
I won’t miss you that much
When I let you in my bed
I thought you so endearing
But if you don’t know your ass from your head
I think I feel my eyes start tearing.
Tears ain’t brown
Drool ain’t brown
And neither are Twizzlers, ice cream or babybels.
You haven’t had a snack in bed
I’m sorry that we ever met
Al I know is, that brown I see is from something else.
***Repeat (Chorus) here depending on how suicidal you are at the moment
Or, skip ahead to the Big Finish. *****
I’m a good woman, I can stand a lot
But shit on the pillow…
From what I thought was a hotel mint.
It looked like a treat, but now I know
That you had left and that was shit on my pillow.
You took my heart then took a shit on my pillow.
Don't forget to stop by on Friday. This time it's going to be a "Girls Only" Funny Blog Friday. So all of our topics will be on childbirth, menstruation and menopause. It will be a blast! OK, I'm totally kidding about that. I have no idea what the other funny women are writing about. It just so happened that all of the interest in doing a post this time came only from the gals and not the guys. See you soon!