The title of today's post is not an actual tagline that Arby's uses but it totally should be. It came from the brain of my funny friend Ivory. If Arby's someday decides to use this line in their advertising, Ivory had better receive some compensation. This brilliance was a result of this conversation from yesterday:
This next incident happened Friday night. It's yet another example of the rock-n-roll lifestyle that I lead. Try to contain your jealousy:
Another friend had this to say:
This is the ad I'll use on Craigslist. Oh-- I guess I should offer it to my faithful readers first. Just send me an email if you are interested in this "Eau de B.O." First come, first served!
This next bit of nonsense happened when I ran an errand on my lunch hour last week:
I wanted to add that it would have been sooooooo easy to pull this off. All I would have had to do was grab an empty card, fill it up with red hangers and exchange the carts. But why on earth would I do that to this poor woman? She did nothing to provoke such cruelty. At least I didn't ACT on my thoughts. I just think these kind of things. I don't usually do them. Usually.
If you read my last post, you saw that my son will be having surgery on April 28th and I shamelessly begged everyone to pray for him (or send positive energy-- whatever works best for you). Anyway, I don't usually show my son's face on here because of: 1. Stranger Danger and 2. He has a right to privacy. However, I think it's easier to pray for people if you have a visual image to concentrate on. So below are two funny videos that show my son at age two and three. He already looks much different now that he's seven. Still, it gives you an face to use. By the way, I promise I'm not turning into a "mommy blogger". I won't be posting videos and photos of my kid ad nauseum.
First clip-- why am I including this 20 second video of my son at a petting zoo? Because a kid chasing a chicken is funny, that's why.
I don't want you to think I'm a weirdo. The reason I taped this next clip of my son using the bathroom is because I heard him singing to himself while he had a BM. It was so cute and funny, I wanted to capture the moment. Instead we ended up having this funny conversation. Whenever I want to tease him even now, I'll say to him, "I farted in my pants." Somehow he's able to turn "pants" into two syllables: "pa-yants". The American South-- giving the world English words with extra syllables for over 200 years.
I'm the worst kind of asshole-- I think I'm funny.
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