This is the tenth tooth that my son has lost. He lost number nine a couple of weeks ago. I was in the kitchen and he walked in and slammed the tooth on the kitchen counter like a cowboy in an old Western film slamming down his money and saying, "WHISKEY!". Instead of whiskey, my kid was like, "Here's my tooth!". Uh, OK.
I remembered that there was actually a time that we had to have a talk entitled, "The Correct Time and Place to Pull Teeth". You know, just like it was covered in all the parenting books I read.
- His first tooth came out when he was five; it happened at daycare so I missed it! That night the Tooth Fairy brought him $2, which did not impress him at all. He told me he thought he would be getting a toy car. I guess he thought that the Tooth Fairy was like the Santa Claus of the dental world.
- For a while my son took swimming lessons at a nearby YMCA. After class I always rinsed out his swim trunks to get rid of the chlorine. He would sit naked (but wrapped in a towel) and wait on a bench while I did this. One time as he sat there sopping wet, he suddenly yelled at me: "I pulled out my tooth!". Great! We only live like ten minutes away. Yeah, much better to pull your tooth while naked at the "Y" rather than wait until you're home.
- His fourth tooth came out with we took him to his first real basketball game. We got tickets at the last second and they were crappy seats. We literally sat in the nosebleed seats. Or gum-bleed seats, if you will. My son wanted to hold that GD tooth during the game, even though I told him that he would drop it. And of course he dropped it. Amazingly, we found the tooth and I took it away from him at that point because I'm the meanest mom ever. That's when I had to tell him that basketball arenas are not the best place to pull teeth. Counter-intuitive, I know.
- February 5, 2014 (I know the date because I found the email that I sent out): My son and I were snuggling in my bed and all of a sudden he said, "I just pulled my tooth!". Great! I love to wash blood out of my sheets!
- He lost a tooth a tooth the day my grandmother passed away. Thankfully it happened at our home and not a few days later at the funeral. If anyone was going to pull a tooth during a funeral service, you just know it would be my kid.
- He lost one tooth at daycare when he bit into a hot dog bun. Unfortunately he swallowed the tooth, which upset him terribly. Not that he swallowed the tooth; he was afraid that the tooth fairy wouldn't visit him. That evening I sent this email to friends and family:
Yesterday I Googled, "stuffed animals with real human teeth" (as one does) because I've now collected ten of my son's teeth and I thought it would be funny to show him one of these "dolls" that you can make. I had seen stuffed animals like the top one before. But then I found the second image. I just... I don't... words fail me here.
In any case, feel free to leave your own funny tooth-pulling stories or asshole-with-teeth theories in the comment section below.