Me, to myself, during the massage: "Oh my God, this is fantastic. Pure bliss. I must enjoy every moment".
My brain: "Hey, wasn't it sad how Leo Tolstoy died at a train station?"
Me: "You suck".
- Don't pass gas (I didn't, but this is good advice any time you are in a small enclosed space with a stranger).
- Don't spend 10 minutes agonizing over your undies. Turns out you can just go "au natural" if you want to.
- Be prepared to call your brain a dick if it starts ruining your bliss. Repeat "serenity now" as a mantra or "STFU", depending on what works best for you.
- Tips four through ten are non-existent. I told you this was clickbait!