Hello dear readers. Welcome to the first installment (maybe) of a series that we are calling, "Turn Noun For What?!" I received an email from Jessie from the blog jessiejanellereyna.com and she had the idea of doing this (her words below):
I'm preparing a graduate presentation that I'm going to be teaching in three months on a writing technique that I have been doing throughout my program. The idea is to organize your thoughts onto paper by using concrete nouns...
What I'd like to do is pick a concrete noun from a hat, and we all plan to write a blog post focusing on that one particular noun. It can be funny or it can be serious, it's entirely up to you. The idea is to take the noun and start writing whatever comes to mind...
The word that was chosen was: BACON!
Have a I mentioned before that I'm a vegetarian? Well, I am. I still cook meat for my son and husband though. I just don't care for it myself. So out of all the words that could have been chosen, this one kind of sucks for me. My original post went like this, "I don't eat bacon. The end." Still, the word "bacon" is a better choice than the first noun that popped into my head, which was "dingleberry". I had to apologize to Jessie when I submitted it. I mean, I could have lied and submitted a different word, but "dingleberry" was truly the first thing that popped into my mind. I don't know why. We don't currently have a pet but in the past we've had dogs that have suffered from dingleberries. So yes, in the big scheme of things, bacon is probably a better choice.
I'm preparing a graduate presentation that I'm going to be teaching in three months on a writing technique that I have been doing throughout my program. The idea is to organize your thoughts onto paper by using concrete nouns...
What I'd like to do is pick a concrete noun from a hat, and we all plan to write a blog post focusing on that one particular noun. It can be funny or it can be serious, it's entirely up to you. The idea is to take the noun and start writing whatever comes to mind...
The word that was chosen was: BACON!
Have a I mentioned before that I'm a vegetarian? Well, I am. I still cook meat for my son and husband though. I just don't care for it myself. So out of all the words that could have been chosen, this one kind of sucks for me. My original post went like this, "I don't eat bacon. The end." Still, the word "bacon" is a better choice than the first noun that popped into my head, which was "dingleberry". I had to apologize to Jessie when I submitted it. I mean, I could have lied and submitted a different word, but "dingleberry" was truly the first thing that popped into my mind. I don't know why. We don't currently have a pet but in the past we've had dogs that have suffered from dingleberries. So yes, in the big scheme of things, bacon is probably a better choice.
When I think of bacon, I think of the items below. These are legit products that are for sale on the internet.
While doing a search of the bacon condoms, this item showed up under the image search:
Yes, it's a bacon bra. Truly America has a love affair with bacon. All I can think of is the giant stains that would be left on her blouse if she really wore this. But on the upside, your breasts would probably feel nicely moisturized after wearing this all day. Oh-- I just thought of this. Hey moms-- you know how when you breastfeed, your nipples get raw and cracked? (Note to men-- this is true. Sorry to ruin boobies for you). A bacon bra might be kind of soothing on your irritated nips. Maybe. It's not any weirder than lanolin (fat from sheep's wool) which is the usual treatment that is recommended.
OK, I know I'm veering off topic here, but bacon makes me think of sausage which makes me think of this item which I recently saw on the salad bar at my local Kroger grocery store:
Bear with me as I continue my stream-of-consciousness ramblings. The dog treat "Snausages" first came out on the market in the 80's. Here's a commercial from 1984 which describes a "new" dog treat:
You know how nothing is funnier than forbidden laughter? In high school I played alto saxophone in the band. In our practice room, the trombone section was directly behind me. I remember an incident that made me nearly pee my pants and/or have a stroke from trying not to laugh. One time when we were having band practice, one of the trombone players behind me would periodically say the word "SNAUSAGES!" out loud (just like in the commercial). It wasn't loud enough for our band director to hear, but loud enough for those of us around him to hear. Our band director did not put up with ANY shit or shenanigans AT ALL. So to burst out laughing during band practice would have been a very, very bad thing. I remember being in agony every time I heard that stupid word spoken out loud. It was like slow torture. Anyway, anytime I hear the word "snausages" I remember that moment.
This concludes my bacon (OK, pork products) themed post. Check out these other bloggers to see their take on bacon:
Fits of Wit
Angst Anarchy
Ben’s Bitter Blog
White Girls Be Like…
Jessie Janelle Reyna
Fits of Wit
Angst Anarchy
Ben’s Bitter Blog
White Girls Be Like…
Jessie Janelle Reyna
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