Email that I sent:
Sent: Monday, February 02, 2015
Blah, blah, fire alarm testing: "There may be sounding of alarms and possible strobe lights during this testing,
but the entire test should only last a few seconds, a few minutes at the very most."
Response that I received:
Sent: Tuesday, February 03, 2015 7:13 AM
Should we disregard the alarm when it goes off?
I have to tell you that it took every fiber of my being not to write back, "No, when you hear the fire alarm please run around in a panic while screaming and flailing your arms." I mean, I guess there was a tiny chance that the building would happen to catch on fire EXACTLY between 2PM and 3PM on the EXACT day we were having fire alarm testing. In that case, yes, please go outside in the cold and wait for the all clear signal. It's a good thing my thoughts don't flash on an LED light board above my head because I think these sort of sarcastic comments ALL THE TIME. The fact that I don't blurt them out and ruin all my interpersonal and work relationships is kind of amazing. I would be shunned by polite society if the world could read my thoughts. Hell, I would be shunned by IMPOLITE society. I feel like I deserve a medal or a gold star or a Presidential Commendation of some kind for managing to keep my shit together every day. OK, most days. So who's going to write a letter to the President to get the commendation process started? Let me know...