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Emails and why I probably shouldn't send them

10/14/2014

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I'm bad about typing quickly, just to get the words down as fast as I can while I try to keep up with my brain. This leads to a lot of typos. This morning I replied to an outside vendor, "Thanks for your help?" with a question mark at the end, which immediately sounds sarcastic or bitchy. It also made me think of this: "I'm Ron Burgundy?"  Here's the clip in case you don't know what I'm talking about:
A couple of weeks ago I sent a work email to a guy who is a complete stranger. Thankfully I caught my error right before I sent my reply. What I wanted to say was, “Thanks for the quick reply”. What I actually wrote was “Thanks for the quicky”. Awesome. Apparently I am a slut. But a polite slut since I thanked him for his services.

Last year around Christmas I got an email from the store "World Market"; they had Christmas foods on sale (like fruitcake) with free shipping. I forwarded the email to a female co-worker since she is the only person I know who actually likes fruitcake. Unfortunately, I wrote these words, "I saw these fruitcakes and thought of you!" Only later did I realize how awful that sounded. Honestly, I would be a little offended if someone said that same thing to me ("I saw a fruitcake and thought of you!"). Because of fruitcake meaning crazy. Of course, a real fruitcake is usually laced with alcohol, so that could have another bitchy connotation as well. Basically learn from my mistake-- don't compare people to fruitcakes. 
 
I had finished this post and then in a strange coincidence (synchronicity?) I got this email from a friend:
"Have to tell you that my Yahoo mail is currently not letting me reply to any of your emails.  It is bizarre, beginning a couple of days ago.  I can reply to other people's, just not yours. When I hit reply, I don't see your email, nor get your header or return address, and then it hangs up the "compose" email function in general.  Have tried different browsers.  Will keep workin' on the mystery." 

Well great. Apparently not only should I not send emails, the universe doesn't want me to receive them either. This is kind of a blow to my self-esteem. I'm gonna love telling my boss, "I can no longer send emails because the universe has turned against me." I now have a vision of myself with parchment paper and an inkwell. On second thought-- me and liquid ink. That will not end well. 
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    Gina

    I'm the worst kind of asshole-- I think I'm funny. 
    I delight in the absurdity of life. 

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