Hey kids-- it's time for more weird sh*t from Tuesday Morning

3/27/2015

Hey kids! It's time for another edition of "Funny Blog Friday". For your reading pleasure, today I will be sharing photos of things that I saw on a recent shopping trip to "Tuesday Morning" (a store which specializes in close-outs and overstock items).

First stop was the lawn and garden section:

Here's a better image of the sad Native American girl. By the look of her skin, I think she contracted smallpox from the European settlers. Which may be why she's sad. Totally legit reason by the way.

Next stop was the toy aisle. I didn't know that Mattel had come out with a "Mars Barbie".

This next item defies explanation:

Apparently yes, that's exactly what it is. I had to Google "Pinkie Cooper". She's supposed to be a Cocker Spaniel. Who loves fashion. And she's from St. Louis. Because we all know that the midwest of America is the fashion capital of the world. I don't know why she has a human body. The fucked-up-ness of this toy is overwhelming.

Then there was this:

I had to check the suggested age range online and it's supposed to be a toy for ages six and up. Because we don't want five-year-olds exposed light-up brains that can record your secrets. That's too young.

The name of this next toy is "Smell my Gak". This one is stinky-shoe scented. I was tempted to find a clerk and ask if they carried the fart-scented Gak because that's the one my son really wanted.

After an hour of getting my texts, one friend had the gall to send me this:

I have to say that Dolly Defensive sounds like one of the toys I might have seen that day in the toy section. Maybe a friend to Tammy Lamby LuLu.

The list of bloggers participating in "Funny Blog Friday" has become rather long. You can find the link here. A couple of my personal favorites are Alanna of White Girls Be Like and Jessie of jessiejanellereyna.com.

12 Comments

Christopher link

3/27/2015 03:36:19 am

It probably says something about me that the first thing I notice about Mars Barbie is that she's not wearing gloves. That means she's going to have very, very, very cold hands. Also she's going to explode. And why is a young Roger Waters pictured smelling the gak? We may never know, but I think it does explain that Animals album.

Gina

3/27/2015 03:53:06 am

I hadn't noticed the lack of gloves! You can't see it well but the top of the box says, "In collaboration with NASA". I feel a bit worried about the quality of our current rocket scientists.

I had to Google young Roger Waters. Agreed that there is a resemblance. Aaaaaaand I had to Google "album the Animals". I was a child of the 70's man. Throw out some 80's music references and I am all over it.

3/27/2015 06:35:37 am

I was a child of the 70's too, and the 80's for me wasn't all Flock of Seagulls and Pet Shop Boys. Or was it only my particular group of peers that got hooked on Pink Floyd and other older bands? Surely you remember The Wall. Not the Berlin wall...Pink Floyd's The Wall. Ah, the last day of school when we all stood outside singing "We don't need no education/We don't need no thought control..."

3/27/2015 06:42:31 am

It may just have been your peer group Christopher. I know very little about Pink Floyd. Sorry! If it makes you feel any better, my husband saw Pink Floyd perform live in Moscow. So at least one member of my family appreciates their music...

kdcol link

3/27/2015 04:27:31 am

Wo! This stinks! Here, smell it. ??? Why would I pay $3.99 (plus tax) to smell "stinky shoe?" Now the fart noise making goop I totally get but not stinky shoe.

3/27/2015 04:33:52 am

My 7yo might actualy like stinky-shoe scented Gak so I have to be sure that he never sees this toy in the store. I have to admit that we have purchased the fart making goop before. I think we got it at the Dollar Store. Which is also where I found and purchased Whoopie Cushions. High class place, the Dollar Store...

Jessie link

3/27/2015 10:17:05 am

Have toys changed drastically in the last 20 years or have they always been this fucked up?

3/27/2015 10:38:54 am

That's a really good question. I mean, we had some odd toys when I was a kid, like Stretch Armstrong, the elastic man that you could pull and twist. However, there were no toys with miniature brains that you could touch. So I'm thinking that the answer is yes, toys have gotten stranger.

3/28/2015 02:18:21 am

Oh how I begged my parents for the lizard dude version of Stretch Armstrong, but I think they believed the rumors that if you cut one open the jelly inside would come to life and kill everyone within a ten mile radius.

3/28/2015 02:28:55 am

I don't remember the rumors about the dangers of the jelly inside of Stretch Armstrong. Maybe because I was a little girl and didn't actually have that toy to play with. But I do remember rumors that Bigfoot hung out in the woods near the playground of my elementary school. Which scared the living shit out of me.

This is unrelated, but I'm writing this while at my son's first soccer game of the season and it is literally 25° outside. I don't think our parents in the 70s would have made that same sacrifice for us. They would've dropped us off and said, "We'll be back in an hour."

White Girls Be Like link

3/31/2015 08:01:24 am

This store is like the island of misfit toys. It should be called "Crazy Person's Stop n' Shop". And have an aisle called "Stuff For Gina". Either way, these people should be paying you for advertising.

3/31/2015 01:04:06 pm

I'm afraid to ask for advertising money from Tuesday Morning. It's more like I don't want them to sue my pants off for disparaging their store. :)

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Hey kids-- it's time for more weird sh*t from Tuesday Morning

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