I like to think that I am a reasonably intelligent person. I have a Master's Degree in Russian. I've held a responsible position at the same company for over 18 years. But on a nearly daily basis I do things that could be described as stupid or idiotic. I usually describe myself as having "goober tendencies" as that sounds nicer than "idiotic". Perhaps you don't believe me. Let me give you some examples from just the past few days.
I sent this email to all employees at our company yesterday morning:
The person who had lost the mug didn't understand why I thought her email was so funny. Once she explained to me what kind of mug she really had, I had to send out an update email:
I have to say I got a LOT of positive feedback from people who thought the emails were funny. And they were-- but it wasn't intentional on my part, so it was kind of embarrassing. I lamented to various friends that I was worried that my fellow co-workers would think that there is something wrong with me. My friend David wrote me back this reassuring email:
But that incident wasn't the only thing "goober" thing that I did yesterday. Oh no. I have a friend at work who has a two-year old daughter. I recently found a bunch of coloring books that my son never used so I figured we should pass them along. I sent her this email:
Later my friend told me that the bag I had used was from a local liquor store. The store's name is in large letters on the bag: "LIQUOR WORLD!" (not actual name but close enough). I hadn't even noticed. This woman is a manager. So I'm sure it looked really classy for her to have a liquor store bag hanging outside her door for a couple of hours. I told friends about this incident and once again my friend David made me feel better about myself:
These next two incidents happened just moments apart last Friday. I used my lunch hour to get my hair cut.
I bet the next time I'm at the salon that receptionist will use small words and talk really slowly to me. And I don't blame her.
Another friend didn't even write any words, but just sent me this photo in response:
This photo accurately sums up my own feelings about my near accident. But I didn't want to kill the baby bird! I had good intentions...
My last example of the odd way my mind works happened over the weekend:
I happened to think later that a normal parent would have immediately thought, "Oh my God, there's an intruder in the house!". My first thought was that evil spirits were talking to my son via the TV. I asked him later who he was talking to and he said he didn't know. Which is kind of creepy. I may be right after all! (I seriously hope not though).
Well, these are all the "goober tendencies" examples I have for now. I wonder if I have an actual medical condition. Please send money to help with research. Or at least to help pay for the new washing machine that we had to buy a few days ago after our old one died. Either way, it's for a good cause.
I'm the worst kind of asshole-- I think I'm funny.
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(Note--I only joined FB in January 2016. Come be my friend, if you want, and like my page before I get fed up with the whole thing and delete my FB account. Kidding. Maybe.)