I hadn't planned to write a post today but after spending the afternoon at a kid's birthday party, the texts I sent (to help pass the time as well as entertain me) made me think I could pull together a quick and dirty post. I added the time stamps on the texts so you could see how much happened in a short amount of time.
This is the absolute truth-- I walked away for a minute when the group of birthday party kids moved from one area to another. When I came back to my bench, the tween's purse, drink and shirt were gone. I felt a moment of panic like I had done something wrong. Then I remembered that I wasn't responsible for a 12-year old's stuff. I do well to keep track of my own stuff on any given day. It's too much to ask me to be responsible for the shit of strangers as well.
Because of the poor bathroom lighting and the fact that I was using my iPhone to take a picture, you can't see the vibrant pink and green colors on the toilet seat. I actually grabbed a wad of toilet paper to wipe the stain but it was permanently dried on the seat-- whatever it is. When I took the photo I came close to dropping my phone into the water. Which is the kind of goober thing that is typical for me. What's worse is that my phone is provided by my company. I would have had to tell the I.T. department, "I dropped my phone into a public toilet because I was trying to take a photo of a weird stain on the seat. " Awesome.
I get migraines periodically. One of my triggers is non-stop loud noises. The combination of the blaring horns as well as the loud music on the speakers started to push me too far. I hated to be rude but I had to leave the party and go outside.
My son (and all the kids) received a party favor bag. He wanted to look at his loot while he leisurely evacuated his bowels. I told him no. It was bad enough that I was stuck in an enclosed space and being forced to smell his BM, but apparently someone right before us had also had a BM. Did I mention I felt like I was getting a migraine?
We got home and my son continued working on a school project that is due this week:
For some reason I just love the phrase, "potato influenced art." Maybe because it's so silly. I was trying to think of a funny phrase to wrap up this post. Something using the word "tater" but my mind is blank. I blame the migraine. (OK, that's a lie. I'm feeling much better now. I think I made my escape just in time).
I'm the worst kind of asshole-- I think I'm funny.
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