I have to tell you that as I write this, it's Friday after work (after a LONG week) and my brain is fried and I really just want to sit on my ass and drink wine and watch Netflix. But at the same time I want to share a few random, funny incidents from the past few days. So I've decided to suck it up and throw together a quick post. I realized that I just need to "copy and paste" a bunch of text messages which doesn't involve a lot of mental effort on my part. Which is good, because I have very little to give at this point.
On Wednesday I woke up to find an unusual bruise on my shoulder:
Full disclosure-- I'm clumsy and bruise easily so I'm sure I injured myself in some way. I just have no idea how.
Yesterday at work I received an email from a travel agent that we sometimes use. She's a really nice lady. Otherwise the following incident could have been much more embarrassing. The travel agent had asked me a question about an upcoming trip for my boss. This is what I wrote:
Moments like this make me think I shouldn't have contact with people outside of our company. She wrote me back that she's 5'7", so she's not really short. I told her in the future I would call her "Shawty" and it would be a term of endearment. Thank God I didn't accidentally send this to a short-statured man. He would probably think I was being a passive-aggressive bitch. Which I can be sometimes. Not this time though...
I've mentioned previously that I like the books and TV series, "Game of Thrones". My husband doesn't like Sci-Fi or Fantasy but he does like "Game of Thrones". The most recent season just came out on DVD so we restarted our Netflix DVD account so we could watch it. The first discs arrived Wednesday. That evening my husband and I were looking forward to FINALLY watching season four. However, because Murphy's Law is a real and living law, our DVD player turned out to be completely dead. It was so disappointing. I knew I'd have to run out at lunchtime the next day and buy a new one. We did a bit of quick research online and I purchased a Sony player at the Walmart right down the road from my work so it would be ready for pick-up the next day. Once I got to Walmart, I sent this series of texts:
The displays of Easter Candy were already out so I decided to do some shopping for my son's Easter basket. I truly hope I don't offend anyone with these next texts but the overwhelming response I got back about the "chocolate cross" below was "WTF?".
While on still on the subject of religion, these Hanukkah candles for sale caught my eye. This was in the "ethnic" food aisle:
If you came to Walmart with the sole purpose of buying Hanukkah candles, you could probably walk every aisle in the store and never find these. Wouldn't this make for an awesome mission on a game show? "Contestants--you have ONE MINUTE to find the Hanukkah candles in this Walmart store! On your mark, get set... GO!"
Later I saw a woman looking for someone to help her in the paint section. I noticed this sign above her head and I had to laugh:
This last text is about a seemingly nice woman, probably in her early 50's, who stopped me:
She touched my bare arm, not my sleeve. I prefer to save skin-to-skin contact for loved ones. Perhaps I'm just funny that way...
I'm the worst kind of asshole-- I think I'm funny.
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