- Bumper one-- the original factory installed bumper.
- Bumper two-- we made a deal on this car on a weekday in February. The dealership brought the car to our house in the evening. The next day my husband drove the car to work (I was home on maternity leave) and during the day we had a bad ice storm. On the way home from work he got rear-ended. The new car was not even in our possession for 24 hours (I hadn't even driven it) and it was already wrecked. Awesome.
- Bumper three-- while I was waiting at a red light, a guy behind me decided that the light was actually green and ran into me. The at-fault driver was in town on business in a company car. He didn't want his company to know about the accident and he wanted to give me money directly, which to me felt kind of skeevy. However, once the estimate came in, he had to concede defeat and tell his company so that they could pay for it.
- Bumper four-- I got a nail in my tire so my husband took the black Camry up to a local repair place as soon as they opened in the morning. The plan was that they would patch the tire quickly and I could head on to work. While he was in the waiting room, my husband heard a giant crash and thought, "I hope that had nothing to do with our car." Nope. Somehow, one of the big heavy glass doors in the repair bay came down and slammed into the bumper of my car. Are you starting to believe in the curse yet?
- Bumper five-- I went to a local bread bakery. I was in a parking spot and talking to my husband on the phone when I felt a huge jolt. A car with three non-English speaking immigrants (not sure if legal or illegal) had backed into me. The driver didn't have a US driver's license but he did have insurance, which was amazing to me. So his insurance ended up paying for the repair and I'm assuming the guy got into some kind of trouble for driving without a license. The female officer who showed up seemed really annoyed with the guy and in my opinion, she was kind of mean to him. One small kindness-- while waiting for the police reports to be typed up, the bakery owner came out and gave me a free loaf of bread. So yeah-- five dollar silver lining right there! Woo-hoo!
This text from Monday evening is kind of embarrassing, yet a perfect example of the kinds of things that happen to me. Or rather, the things that I cause to happen to myself:
I came so close to hitting the car in front of me that the driver threw up his hands in the classic "WTF?" gesture. I would have been mortified to have to tell my insurance company the real reason why I caused a car accident. "Uh, it's because I was thinking about candy". My husband would have been pissed too. And rightfully so. I've never had an accident in this car. Unlike my past car, which I think had some kind of curse placed on it. Just read and decide for yourself:
My current car is a silver Toyota Camry. The car before that was a black Camry, which we leased for three years. Never in my life have I had such bad luck with a car. There was nothing mechanically wrong with it; it just had bad car karma. It had five bumpers during the time we owned it. God only knows what the tally would have been if we'd kept in any longer. Here's how the numbers break down:
If you'll notice, none of those accidents were my fault. However, there WAS one time that was my fault. It was during a bad ice storm a year after we got the car. Our power was out for four days and we had to stay in a hotel (a really shitty hotel because everything was booked; the kind of hotel where you could hear your neighbors fighting and you hoped you wouldn't hear shots fired). We kept making daily trips to our house to check on things (like to see if pipes had burst). I was stuck in a hotel room with a 13-month old and I was stressed out and exhausted. On one of the visits home, as I went to back out of the driveway, I forgot to look in the rearview mirror and I scraped my car down the side of my husband's car. Both mirrors broke off and both cars had giant scratches down the sides. The bumper on my car was only scratched, so it didn't get replaced, just repainted. Again, all of this damage occurred in the span of three years. One weird benefit of all these accidents is that I became incredibly savvy about car repairs. I learned that I only wanted original Toyota parts put on the car every time. I spent so much time at the same auto-body repair place that the employees started to feel like family. I told them they should have given me a punch card that entitled me to a free repair after five punches. Seems like a reasonable request, don't you think? I don't even know why I'm asking. I know you agree with me. Anyway, perhaps we should stop and say a quick prayer for the poor, ill-fated new owner or owners of the black Camry. I'm sure they need it.
I'm the worst kind of asshole-- I think I'm funny.
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