Yesterday while at work I noticed this pigeon staring through the window. It struck me as funny. I couldn't tell if his gaze was menacing, curious, or if he was telepathically trying to ask me for food. (Sorry-- the windows don't open).
Shortly thereafter I sent this email while still in the work parking lot:
My friend Ivory sent this response:
I'd like to know how the frog ended up in a suburban parking lot with just one leg. Did he get hit by a car and dragged to his final resting place? Wouldn't he be more likely to be flat in that case? It is a mystery. He was still in the parking lot when I arrived this morning. I was like, "Ugh, why hasn't some foul creature eaten you yet?". And now I've made a mental note to park somewhere else for a few days.
New completely unrelated topic-- a few years ago I saw this colon cancer awareness tunnel online and I asked my boss if we could rent one for our building. 'Cause you know, we want our employees to be healthy. For some reason he said no. I thought it would be a fun way to enter and exit the building for a few days.
I also found this photo online:
Seeing the happy little boy running through the human colon made me wonder if renting one of these inflatables might make for a fun activity at a kid's birthday party. It would be entertaining AND educational. I'm going to start calling all the party places that rent out inflatables and ask for the price on the Colon Cancer Tunnel. And if they say they don't have that available, I'll ask if they at least have the Endometriosis Jumpy Castle. When they say "no" I'll get all pissy and ask "Well what DO you have in stock then?".
The last bit of nonsense for today is an email I received yesterday. I wasn't the intended recipient but I was cc'd, I guess an "FYI".
If you're like me, you read this completely non-angry email in a yelling voice. BECAUSE DOESN'T EVERYONE KNOW BY NOW THAT ALL CAPS MEANS YELLING? I showed this to my boss just because I thought it was funny and he said he didn't think that "all caps" meant that the sender was yelling. I told him EVERYONE knows that it means yelling. Everyone but him and the sender apparently. I was sooooooo tempted to reply back, "WHY ARE YOU YELLING ABOUT THE SATURDAY OPTIONS? THERE'S NO NEED TO YELL!" But I would like to keep my job so I will have to refrain from writing snarky comments in business emails. Instead I'll just think these things in my head and then share them with you. You're welcome.
I'm the worst kind of asshole-- I think I'm funny.
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(Note--I only joined FB in January 2016. Come be my friend, if you want, and like my page before I get fed up with the whole thing and delete my FB account. Kidding. Maybe.)