This happened one day last week:
I rarely have posts that contain one specific theme; usually it's just random nonsense thrown together. So I'm happy to announce that today's post DOES have a theme. The bad thing is that it's all about toilets. I am aware that this post will not be receiving a literary award nomination in the near future.
This happened one day last week:
Because it was lunchtime the cafe was packed. I saw people look at me as I emerged from the restroom. It was one of those unisex single stalls. Surrounded by tables. I swear, it's the worst restroom placement ever. I guess I should have played my part and stood there at the door and fanned it back and forth to make it look like I was airing out the enclosed space. "You DO NOT want to go in there. Trust me". Ugh-- just imagining that makes me die a little bit on the inside. I hate being embarrassed in public. Maybe because I do it all the time...
My next potty incident involved a celebrity. Hmmm... that's a sentence I never imagined I'd write before. This happened over the weekend:
I had to send a follow up email a few minutes later:
One friend replied with this:
If I'm honest, I can't remember where the stuck toilet seat cover happened. It may not have been at a rest area. It may have been an airport restroom. These are the kinds of events I like to block from my mind, so the memory is kind of fuzzy.
My son is currently in day camp with our local YMCA. He goes on THREE field trips a week to really fun places and I'm completely jealous of how much more fun his summer is compared to mine. Anyway, last week the kids went to a park with a small lake and he had the opportunity to fish. But he didn't. I asked why and he said, "I needed to pee the whole time". Um, OK. I asked him why didn't he just use the restroom? He said there was only one restroom and it was yucky and the stall didn't even have a door on it. Apparently the lack of the door was the deal-killer. He said he wished he could have just peed outside but he would have gotten in trouble. Anyway, I told him about my experiences in public restrooms in Russia which also lacked doors sometimes. It wasn't pleasant but it was still better than suffering with a full bladder. Sometimes there were no cubicle walls at all-- just holes in the ground with little feet outlines to show you where to squat. Here's an image of one of these Russian toilets that I found online (without the helpful feet markers):
Speaking of Russian toilets, I wrote this post back in December. Click here if you'd like to read it. Just the first third of the post is about toilets, so it's not a long read.
Lastly is a comment my son made this weekend which doesn't involve a potty but the topic is close enough that it fits in today's post:
This concludes my shit and potty post. Sorry if I set off your gag reflex at any point. The next time I'll try to write about something more pleasant like pancakes (that was the first pleasant thing that popped into my mind; maybe because I made pancakes for dinner last night). In the meantime, enjoy this adorable image of a bunny. This photo puts me into cuteness overload:
I'm the worst kind of asshole-- I think I'm funny.
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