I first met Dr. Rick when my son was born; he was the first pediatrician to exam him. I remember being woken up by a handsome stranger who walked into my hospital room. It was wintertime and Dr. Rick was wearing a leather jacket that was dusted with melting snow (I just realized my story is starting to sound like erotic fiction). He told me that my newborn was "absolutely perfect", which made me like him a thousand times more. He stayed and answered the gazillion questions that I had. I became self conscious and wondered how horrible I must look after a sleepless night of repeated feedings on top of the repeated vomiting I had experienced the day before (supposedly from the anesthesia used during the c-section). Side note-- after I gave birth a nurse came to my room to introduce herself and before I could even say a word I had to grab the barf bucket and vomit right in front of her. They say you only get one chance to make a good impression. After I was finished I remembered telling her, "Nice to meet you." I even told her, "That's a horrible way to make someone's acquaintance". So yeah, that's a fond memory.
Anyway, after your kid is born, it seems like you spend every other week in the pediatrician's office for check-ups and immunizations. The practice we go to has great doctors and we see all of them, but when given a choice I used to ask for Dr. Rick. That changed after "The Incident". If you read the title of this post you know what's going to happen. My son was probably about 9 or 10 months old and he was wearing a one-piece romper. Dr. Rick was holding my son and needed the romper removed. He asked me if I could undo the snaps in the crotch area (of my son's outfit; not his own crotch area. I thought I should clarify that). We were standing side-by-side as I did this and as I pulled on the snaps, my hand flew out with great force and landed on the doctor's privates. It wasn't a graze-- oh no, it was full-on hand-to-genital contact. I was like, "Oh, he's circumcised." OK, that part is an exaggeration. If my hand had lingered a bit longer I might have been able to tell. I cannot begin to convey the absolute mortification that I felt. I couldn't look the doctor in the eye for the rest of the visit. After that, I began to request doctors other than Dr. Rick because I always felt awkward. If this had happened with one of the older (read: less attractive) doctors, I don't think I would have been so embarrassed. Thankfully we didn't see him at all today.
But this happened, which was still kind of embarrassing. The waiting room this afternoon was literally standing room only. Apparently every parent in the metro area decided, like me, that today would be a good day for their kid to get a flu shot. We literally had to wait one hour. OK, it was acutally 55 minutes, but it FELT like an hour. I was wearing sandals and I took one off so I could tuck my leg underneath me. I didn't notice that my son, to be funny, had moved my sandal to underneath the chair next to me (yet another example of kids being dicks). So when our names were FINALLY called I stood up in a crowded room (where people were already waiting to grab out seats) and had to say, "Where's my shoe? Have you seen my shoe?". Now I'm sure the phrase "Where's your shoe?" gets uttered at least ten times a day in that office. But I'm guessing it's usually frustrated parents talking to their toddlers. In my case was an adult woman asking a six-year old to help her find her shoe. So that was an awesome feeling. However, in comparison to my inappropriate groping, standing with one bare foot in a room full of strangers is no big deal.