Speaking of genitals, I looked up my Google Analytics search queries again today (I can't help it; it's fascinating). I had this text conversation with a friend regarding my findings:
I can recall another equally weird bedtime incident. This was during another visit from my Mom (do you notice a pattern?). For a very brief period at my husband's old job he had be at work at 6AM, which meant going to bed ridiculously early. I'm a night person by nature, so I didn't go to bed until later. I was downstairs and I heard my husband calling me to come up and give him a kiss good night. I told my Mom, "I'll be back. I'm just going to give the Russian a goodnight kiss." Her response: "I don't need to know about your kinky sex rituals." I swear this is true. She said it in a way that was half-funny, half-serious and 100% inappropriate. I was like, "Only you would find a way to turn something sweet into something weird. Thanks Mom."
Since this is Thanksgiving week and I'm sure many of you will be staying with relatives (or have relatives staying with you) just remember these moments any time you feel a surge of annoyance with your guests. Whatever they're doing is likely much more socially acceptable when compared to my Mom's behavior. Feel better now? You're welcome.