Last night my six-year old son watched the nightly news with me (anything to avoid homework I think). The big news story was Kate Middleton's pregnancy and her severe morning sickness. I thought I would use the moment as a learning experience. I told my son, "You know a lot of women have morning sickness at the beginning of their pregnancies. It usually lasts about three months. I had it with you but I was sick all day long, not just the morning. At night I would often go to sleep only to wake up and hour or two later and have to throw up again. It was horrible. For a few weeks I slept on the couch downstairs so I wouldn't wake up your father every night." Now I don't know what kind of response I was actually expecting from this kid. Maybe something like, "Oh mother, I didn't know you had to suffer so much in order to bring me into this world. What a wonderful person you are. Thank you for all that you've done for me, even when I was in utero". Note-- he doesn't actually talk this way; it's just my idealized fantasy of what he SHOULD say to me. His actual comment was this: "I'm so glad I'm not a girl."
I'm the worst kind of asshole-- I think I'm funny.
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