Hey guys-- consider this your extra special BONUS post for the week. Since I plan to do a "Funny Blog Friday" post for Friday (tomorrow), I hadn't planned posting one today. However, yesterday there some funny incidents that I deemed shareworthy so I thought, "What the hell". I wrote this post last night with the intention of posting it on Sunday. But then I thought what if, God forbid, I should leave this world before getting to share these funny (OK, semi-funny) things with you all? What a tragedy that would be.
I often run errands on my lunch hour. Yesterday was no different:
After reading that I wanted to stick my fingers in my ears and go "La-la-la, bad things never happen in suburbia". They do of course. Also, the smelling incident really did happen at Walmart about a year ago. The perpetrator was a man in a dark blue t-shirt covered with greasy stains. I mean, he told me I smelled lovely, which was nice, but still weird. Then I kept running into him throughout the store and it set of my "stranger danger" alarm. Nothing happened thank goodness.
OK, this next thing is not hilarious by any means but it made me stop and take notice:
In my experience, it seems like the "sell by" dates on eggs are usually about two to three weeks out. These eggs are good for another six weeks. That doesn't seem quite right to me.
After putting away my groceries, I met my son at the bus stop and this happened:
I don't know if this guy was homeless or just mentally unstable. We live so far out in the suburbs, I'd be surprised if it was a homeless person. The homeless population tends to stay downtown, since that's where all the social services are located. By the way, even though I text all the time, I'm actually really bad at typing on the tiny keyboard of my phone. Instead I generally use "voice to text" to dictate my messages. So I really was saying the word "hobo" out loud multiple times.
This last thing is a funny story courtesy of my friend Ivory. I got her permission to post it. It's borderline safe for work, just FYI. My posts should probably come with a letter like the movie rating system. Most posts would probably be rated "R" with a few "NC-17" sprinkled in.
I'm the worst kind of asshole-- I think I'm funny.
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