Question my 8yo has asked this evening:
1. Would you rather be super rich with zero friends or middle-class with lots of friends?
2. Would you rather have been a prisoner on Alcatraz or in a concentration camp?
3. Would you rather be attached to a pig for the rest of your life or fart glitter for the rest of your life?
"Uhhhhhhh ... glitter?"
(Every kid has these questions right? Right? It actually might be kind of fabulous to fart glitter, but I bet laundry would be a bitch).
Me: "Was this something you did in school today?"
Him: "No. It's something I was thinking about."
Me: "Hmmmm ... well, it would be cool to go forward in time because I could see all the new technology and meet my grandchildren or great-grandchildren. But what if the world had come to an end? What if there was a nuclear war or natural disaster and nothing existed? That would be horrible."
Him: "That probably won't happen. Everything will be fine."
(Note, there is something else that I thought about that I didn't mention to him. If I went forward in time, I could look up my obituary. I could look up the obituaries of EVERYONE I KNOW. No one should know the time and manner in which they will leave this earth. And yet, if that knowledge was available, I don't think I would be able to stop myself from looking. I WOULD HAVE TO KNOW!!! Ugh, just thinking about it makes me feel sick to my stomach. What if it said, "Woman dies in freak petting zoo accident?" I would know to never visit petting zoos again. This is the kind of stuff that's supposed to upset the space-time continuum right?).
Me: "I think it would be better to go back in time. Then I could see my great-grandparents. And maybe I could do something to stop Hitler."
Him: "You'd have to go to Germany. And you don't know how much time you'll have."
Me: "True. And I don't speak German. But I could at least TRY. Maybe I could send someone a telegram? Even if I couldn't stop Hitler, it would be cool see my Great-Grandparents as young people."
I would love to meet this young man:
Anyway, back to the conversation:
Me: "Which one would you choose? The past or the future?"
Him: "The future. I want to see all the cool technology. I want to see if laser boobs have been invented."
Him: "Laser boobs. You know, boobs that can be used as weapons."
And there you have it folks. The mind of an eight-year old boy. He wants to go forward in time to see laser boobs. You know what?
Now it's your turn to let me know if you'd rather time travel to the past or future. Or you can answer the questions: "Would you rather be surgically attached to a pig or fart glitter the rest of your life?". These are all important things to know.